This is ME!

  • Is it a sunset you wont see tomorrow but see everyday?
  • Is it a shoreless sea?
  • Is it a toy you play and throw away?
  • Who do you think of me?
  • The sunset which would fade with the fall of day?
  • The sea which your boat wont ever see?
  • The toy which would be useless anyway?
  • Who do you think of me?
  • Tell your Sunset! I am the sun that rises and shines too,
  • Tell your Shores! I am the sea that has tides which never flee,
  • Tell your Toys! I am not a toy, i do what i want to do,
  • Tell your Self! I am human! This is me!
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Not this winter

  • This mist, this winter reminds me of you,
  • How a cup of coffee used to be an excuse,
  • Watching the sky turn black to blue,
  • How your words were a source of amuse,
  • Times we talked about sky, moon, you and me,
  • Letting the stars witness our smiles,
  • The way you used to care, you used to be,
  • Vanishing all the distances of miles.

Respect yourself

“The one who’s always busy in making everyone else happy, ends up as the saddest one himself”

One of my most favorite persons spoke this to me today. She told me that there is a difference between making someone happy and doing good to them. Somehow i find her completely right. You can’t make everyone glad. You can’t be everyone’s sun in the dark. You can’t make your stars shine with different moons to different people’s universe. Whenever you try doing so, your sun loses its shine and your stars fade away into dark clouds. It’s you and only you who bear the consequences. I always thought if i managed to make my dear ones stay happy, they will always stick to my world and won’t ever leave me; maybe because i have seen alot of people walk away and abandon my world. After witnessing people leave, i had decided to hold on tight to those who i have in my life. I had promised myself, no matter what happens i will try my best to make them stay. But maybe i am wrong! What’s the use of making someone happy who can never feel blissful with you? What makes you hold on to someone who had always tried to walk away? What makes you open your heart to someone who never even cared if you had one? You keep on telling yourself that you care but my dear! You are on the wrong. You don’t care, you just fear. And where there is fear, there is no love and no love means no bond. I had once read somewhere, “Zarf wasi ho tou taluq ko maut nahi aati” that is “A relation never dies if you have ingenuity and patience”. I believed in it, i still do. But when the next person never pays heed to the patience you put in and keeps on testing you, tell yourself it’s not the right thing to do. When a relation demands your self respect to be ruined time and again, know that you are insulting yourself and the bond too. There is no use saving something that demands your failure for it’s survival. Know your worth. Respect yourself because for a bond to survive, your survival is the first necessity.

Inspired to Inspire

“You see! In life you experience different things and emotions so you get inspirations from different people who can motivate you.”

Came across these words from a very close friend of mine and it hit me. I have had mostly heard of people shattering souls, have heard of how emotions cringe you inside, heard of how experiences leave you demolished and how people prick you down. There are very few whom i saw being inspired and later inspiring others, very few who talked about the good they saw in others. There’s always been this fight within my own self where i tried not to hate or break someone. But somehow sometimes i failed the fight. Yes! I failed to get inspired. Yes! I failed to inspire. I am still walking my sun set to its rise. I am still learning on how to be inspired. People say that a certain someone was quite rousing. They say they are inspired by that person. I don’t get what “INSPIRATION” means to them. Is it just a mere likelihood? Or is it just mere words from someone that they remember as a good quote. To me, “Inspiring” means different if that’s the case. I ask people about who inspired them because i want to know from where did they get that confidence inside them? What made them shine so bright? Is it their ourselves? Or is it someone who encouraged them? Inspiring to me means how a character polishes you by their shimmer adding into yours. How they show you a way to gather up the mess you couldn’t manage to clear. Like exactly what my friend said, “who can motivate you”.

Sorry!

  • I know i am good at breaking walls,
  • I know my words may shake souls,
  • These walls had me making falls,
  • These words throwing me in holes,
  • But you then had a generous heart,
  • But you then sparkled the stars with moon,
  • Your naivety made in a spotless art,
  • I am sorry, i hope you forgive me soon,
  • For i had never meant any bad,
  • For i had never thought to hurt you,
  • It sinks me down to see you sad,
  • I am sorry, i hope you forgive me too.

One Day! Some Day!

I write and erase. I am so confused, so cringed inside. Maybe it’s just the hormonal influctuations or the real me. Maybe i miss something inside me. Maybe i crave for something that was never meant to be mine. Maybe i am hurt. Maybe its all a dream. I wish it’s a dream. But hello reality! Hello to an unhappy me! Hello to the ignorant life! Hello to the stress that digs me down! Hello to me wearing a stained crown! Hello to my dark room with closed windows! Hello to my life’s book lost in a library with long rows! I know this too shall pass. I know i ll be glad one day. I know i ll have what i want. I know life would be easy someday. It would be free of worries and pure; with no double standards. Loved ones will be there to hug me; being a pillar of strength for me whenever i fall down. I ll open my eyes to a sunrise of blithe everyday. Whatever bothers me will fade away. I wish all this comes to me soon for i am losing myself every second. I am getting weaker. This well i live in is getting deeper. The mountain i am trying to climb is getting steeper. But i have hope for my Allah is there for me. I ll be free one day for He ll help me fly. One day! Some day!

Maybe it’s a lie

  • They often called me a sad soul,
  • Too deprived of blithe in life,
  • Too disabled to even crawl,
  • Hardly they knew how much i strive,
  • They advised me to move on,
  • Told me to be a part of all,
  • Tell them, my moon had never glown,
  • Tell them, after every rise, i fall,
  • They said, “It was never love”,
  • Maybe my definition is just a lie,
  • Maybe they never saw you as my dove,
  • Maybe there were never stars to my sky.

How could you not know?

  • My sky misses your presence too,
  • My soul feels so cringed and hollow,
  • My stars seem so dim without you,
  • How could you not know?
  • I remember it all bit by bit,
  • When i uttered, “Ok! Go”,
  • I said but I never meant it,
  • How could you not know?
  • My boat floats in a sea with no shore,
  • I love you but i can’t show,
  • I don’t know how to swim anymore,
  • How could you not know?

Being sorry is ok…

Getting back to writing after a decade is like smelling the flowers again. Life had been quite harsh in the months before but yeah; every scar leaves you an experience. Anyhow! Lets just jot down what i came across yesterday. Being a stupid person who acts impulsively at times; i did another blunder the other night. I always believed that a person should cherish the precious people they have in their lives. Whether it’s our parents or siblings or friends; we should know their importance. We should show them that we care. People who have names in our lives in terms of relationships are like pearls beaded in a chain. A friend, a sibling, a parent, a relative are not just merely people. Infact they are pearls and you are the chain that hold them tight. If you try to harm even a single pearl, you lose your shine. You lose the spark no matter how bright the rest shine. To me, every single person matters alot. I am often called “Cold” by strangers but for my dear ones, i am a different person. I am rude, blunt, ignorant and selfish at times but when it comes to my deary bearies, i am like the other side of the coin. Hurting someone by your impulsive behaviour and thinking that you seem to be quite a “DUDE” by doing so is no less than a rotten act. If someone is dear to you, why hurt them. If someone matters to you the way light matters to the day, why let yourself fade it away. I actually felt ashamed on being lame the other night although it was just an advice and the other person wanted me to do it the better way. I was sorry, i am sorry on that. I wish i could just fix it up but yeah; happens. Sometimes you need to learn to act natively and sensibly. So, just a take home note from my side. Adore the people who are in your lives. Tell them, they are special to you. Don’t let yourself ruin it in anyway because once you lose the charm in your relations, you lose it all. Being sorry is ok. It’s better than a good bye to good people in your life. Hold the beads tight. Let your chain swirl around them twice.